When my family of six moved into our current house 12 years ago, we knew we were taking on a project. The 30-something-year-old house was still very much stuck in the 90s. The walls had the original builder's flat white paint, and even the carpet throughout the house was the same.
One of the biggest eyesores I hoped to renovate first was the primary bathroom. I dreamed of smashing the forest-green tiles, changing out the brassy gold fixtures, and building a bigger shower. I often joked to my husband that he might come home one day to find me tearing the gold-and-green wallpaper off the walls just to get the renovation started earlier than he wanted.
The Renovation I Could Not Start Yet
Years went by, and the budget was just never there for the bathroom renovation. There were cars to buy for our kids as they got older, colleges to pay for, and other rooms that were updated first. We even went through a year when almost every major appliance in our house broke and had to be replaced.
Recently, I sat looking at the walls and asked myself what I could do while I waited for the bathroom to finally become a priority. How could I work with the bathroom we had instead of growing more frustrated because I did not have the bathroom I wanted?
Once I surrendered to the current situation, I was able to see other readily available options.
Small Changes Still Matter
I priced out what it would cost to simply change the lights, fixtures, and towel racks without tearing down walls or changing plumbing to get the bathroom I really wanted. After a little research, I realized this small renovation was totally achievable.
The excitement grew quickly after a trip to Lowe's and a round of decor and picture-frame purchases on Amazon. I had never installed lights or fixtures before, but I felt more confident after watching a couple of YouTube videos. Within hours, the new lights were installed and the faucets were changed out.
As I hung the last picture, I stepped back to look at my small renovation.
"This isn't too bad," I thought to myself. "No, it's actually beautiful."
I decided to lean into the antique qualities of the 90s bathroom, and I was actually proud of myself. I had complained about that bathroom for so long that I never took into consideration that even small changes could make a big difference.
Renovating the Concept of Waiting
Think about how many times we feel stuck in our current circumstances, knowing things could be better but lacking the time, money, motivation, or other crucial resources to get there. We sit around waiting for the perfect time to renovate our lives while grumbling that things are not different. We convince ourselves that if we cannot do it all, then we cannot do anything.
That belief keeps us from seeing any other options beyond what we think is the one right way to create change. We grow weary. We give up. We wait for the resources to arrive or for some crucial piece to fall into place.
It may be time to renovate the concept of waiting so we can actually move forward toward our goals.
What we often fail to realize is that there are small things we can do in the waiting. If I want to run a 5K but cannot even run a mile, I can start by taking a short walk around the block every day. A short walk is not nothing. A short walk is a step closer to running a 5K than I was before.
Other small changes while we wait may look like choosing gratitude over complaining, researching opportunities when we think there are no other options, or changing seemingly insignificant habits that help us build motivation and momentum.
Finding Peace in What Is Possible Today
I now smile every single time I walk into my bathroom. Honestly, I may not need to spend another dollar to make another change. The bathroom became the relaxing place in the house I had wanted since we moved in. More importantly, I was the one who made the small changes that created that sanctuary because I leaned into what I had to work with.
Now I am looking into other areas of my life where I feel stuck and frustrated as I wait. I am brainstorming what is in my control to change in this moment, and I feel more empowered to take that first small step toward bigger goals.
Support in the Middle of the Wait
If you feel stuck in an area of your life where the waiting has become unbearable, therapy can be a place to slow down, get honest about what feels impossible, and identify the small, meaningful steps that are available to you right now.
You may be surprised by what begins to change before the big renovation ever starts.
